Long Time, No See!

It's been too long since my last post, I know, and I am incredibly sorry. I have been incredibly busy; busy beyond all belief, as if that's an excuse. Lack of internet, and excess of school have allowed me to more observing in my time away from blogging, however I haven't been able to quite get to a computer to sort my many thoughts. I have, however, missed all of you guys very much. Let's catch up!
Here's a few notes for you:

1. It's the quality, not the quantity. In all situations, this little bit of advice may seem cliche.

 Just last month I was overcome with the unfortunate realization that I don't have a trillion friends. This fact didn't bother me too much until it was time to make plans for my birthday. I felt like I couldn't take a bunch of friends off to the city to spend the night because, frankly, I don't have that many girl-friends to take out somewhere. After I couldn't scrape together enough friends to make plans, I was intensely overcome with grief. I felt lost and terribly alone. It didn't much help that I took up the alternative to go off to my grandparents' house in celebration for my Sweet Sixteen. However, on the way home from their house, the night before my birthday I was exhausted from all of my pessism. As I walked through the front door of my house, luggage in tote, I rounded the corner to a big, loud, and booming "SURPRISEEE!!!!!" from 10 of my closest friends. My grandparents, opposite of the ones I had stayed the night with, had driven 3 hours in traffic solely to see me! It was in that moment that I realized that it doesn't matter much if you have 5 or 50 friends, because when it comes to people quality beats quantity by miles. I was surrounded, that night, by people who care enough about me to throw me the best surprise party in the history of Sweet Sixteens. These great people are my true friends, and I am forever grateful for them.

2. Decisions, Decisions.
Every once in a while, whether we like it or not, we face decisions. It doesn't matter how beautiful the path you're walking down; sadly, there's always a fork in the road. This could be a good thing though, as well. Personally, I have trouble with looking back. I look back into my memory at the past, and I lose sleep. It's a depressing thing to miss someone you held/ hold dear to your heart. It's even more depressing to have to look back, and know that things won't ever hold the ability to be the same. It's a hard fact to face, and i often find myself trying to talk myself into sending a text message. I try to convince myself that as long as I'm happy, it doesn't matter what it takes, emotionally. (I don't injure myself or anything like that, btw) In the midst of my tug-of-war game with myself, I came across this random realization: every once in a while, you have to decide to be happy. You have to put on your big girl undies, and accept the fact that it won't ever be the same. You make the decision to fall asleep with a smile plastered on your face instead of crying yourself to sleep, simply because you know it's best for you. Deciding to be happy no matter what the circumstance is takes optimism to a new extreme, but whatever it takes, right? Deciding to be happy is key to letting go. We'll see how that goes.

3. ACT.
Ahhh, the future lies in the hands of this test. I take the test for my first time tomorrow, and I'm beyond nervous. I have had endless advice, which only makes me more nervous. I await tomorrow with a bittersweet feeling. After I take it, it will be over; it's just taking the gargantuan test that will be rigorously long. I've heard, however that confidence is key, so we'll check it out tomorrow I suppose!

Of course, this is not all there is to say. There are many more posts that will catch you guys up on my observations, but three is enough to elaborate on. I wouldn't want to overwhelm you! So until next time:


think about it :)