No Worries

I know I didn’t write last week; I’m sorry. I’ve just had an incredible amount of mess on my mind recently, not that it’s much of an excuse. I decided that since it is Blog Tuesday after all, I should sit myself down, crank up the musical styling of LIGHTS, and lay all of these confusions out on my laptop just like old times. I think that would be a sufficient way to end the day. This post won’t be terribly long; I’ll get right to the stunning point of this crazy life story.

            Have you ever lost something? Maybe it was your left Converse shoe, pair of glasses, or homework that happens to be due tomorrow that you lost. Whatever it is that you’ve lost, you can’t find it anywhere. You tear your house apart looking for the lost thing, but it’s almost as if it’s disappeared into thin air. This lost ________ drives you crazy, and it’s all you seem to think about it. You dwell on it for what seems like forever. The crazy catch to this whole scenario is this: as soon as you give up, let go and quit looking, it reappears! It was right where you left it, and it’s in the same shape it was in when you lost it. It’s so crazy how whenever we get so distracted by making something happen the way WE want it to happen; meanwhile, what’s meant to happen is in the works the whole time. We’re just way too impatient to wait and see what’s going to happen. We worry too much.

            I, personally, have a dwelling problem. I let things that don’t matter cloud my mind to the point of obsessive worrying. I wish I wasn’t this way, but I really can’t help it. In my life, I have this rather large choice that I feel like I have to make. The choices, consequences, and “What you should do” swirl in my mind like a swarm of bees. The swarm gets so intense sometimes that I have to lie on my floor and talk it all out to myself. I felt like I was the only one I could entrust this big decision in, and it was too much for me to bear. After weeks of depending on my own pitiful self, I decided that I was, of course, incredibly to weak to make the all too important decision of whether to let go of one of my dearest friends, or keep that friendship up and risk a marginally more important relationship in my life. It was all too much to bear, especially since the friend in question is in no way shape or form good for me. Nonetheless, I feel a magnetic draw towards this person, a draw strong enough to put everything I’ve been working towards in question. This decision was taking over my life, so I turned it over to the Big Man in Charge. I talked to my King for twenty minutes, and I explained everything to Him, although he already knew exactly what was going down. This was too big for me. I talked to my Maker, I told Him I couldn’t decide on what I should do, I surrendered this situation over to Him, and then I asked to send me some words of advice. I asked Him to send me a “Sign” telling me what to do. I shut my computer down, threw my phone onto the ground, and I listened with ears more concentrated than what I’ve ever done before. When I closed my eyes, a while later, to listen closer, I saw lights flash across my thin and tired lids. The lights spelled out “Luke 12:26”. I sat in disbelief at what I had just seen. I climbed out of bed and walked over to my reading chair. I cracked open the bible my mom had used when she was my age, flipped to Luke, and began reading. Written there, black and white, was the verse:

“²⁶ Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”

I burst into tears at what my Great Provider told me. Maybe this makes little or no sense to you, but this was The Maker of the Universe telling me that if I can’t seem to find the answer now, then I shouldn’t worry about it. It was as if He grabbed me by the hand, and told me, “I’ve got it covered, my dear. Just let me handle this, because what I have planned for you is much bigger than what you could possibly comprehend. I love you; have no worries.”